And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
