Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Randomize
