I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
