I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
