dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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