i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He shit in the fireplace
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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