dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
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