Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
and i looked up. we had an audience...
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
