This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
