a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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