I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I stole a fireplace last night.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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