Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
