You can't motorboat a personality
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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