I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
