yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
