Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Randomize
