? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Randomize
