Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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