Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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