Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Couch. On fire.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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