Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
