So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
