You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
