I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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