O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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