We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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