do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
