im gay
i know
yea but for you.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
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