Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize