I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
