I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
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