so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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