Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
