What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
