Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize