It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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