Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
