I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
