That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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