it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
This beer is not sobering me up at all
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Randomize
