So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
