Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
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