If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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