Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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