I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Is Oprah even human
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
