Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
