I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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