he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize