I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
These 23 People Had Crazy Sex With Complete Strangers
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
23 Medical Examiners Reveal The Most Disturbing Causes Of Death They’ve Seen
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory