There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
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Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
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I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.