Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
The air taste purple.
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