i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
