awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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