is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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