You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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