Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
