how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
