is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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