is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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