We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
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I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
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I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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