i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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